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1. The isolated one
2. The autobiography
3. The conversations
4. The chained links
5. The reminisced
The world, the flesh, the devil
The isolated one
Name: Danver
Age: 19
Starsign: Leo
Loves
Solitude
Jazz and rock
Tennis
Chess
Billards
Black
Hates
White
Backstabbers
Hypocrites
Immature brats
Wishlist
People to enjoy happiness
A new computer
Attain a higher maturity level
Discipline
A fitter body
Saturday, April 16, 2005
[Evanescence][Going Under]
Now I will tell you what I've done for you
50 thousand tears I've cried
Screaming Deceiving and Bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me(I’m going under)
Don't want your hand this time
I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom
I'm dying again
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm going under
Blurring and Stirring the truth and the lies
So I don't know what's real and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore
I'm dying again
I'm going under
Drowing in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
So go on and scream
Scream at me
I'm so far away
I won't be broken again
I've got to breathe
I can't keep going under
Today was a pathetic day...gave me loads of time to reflect upon myself...After today's experience, i have realised what a pathetic life i have been living...Separated family...disbanded friendships...no achievements...no sense of belonging...pondering on the reason of my existence in this world...Constantly falling into the abyss of everlasting hell...school is equivalent to military camp...submerging myself in pressure and stress...unable to supress my fears...
Submitting myself to solitude..distanting myself from everyone else...since i am unable to start afresh...i would rather feel the distinct pain of loneliness, agonizing depression and self denial everyday...standing by my shadow seeing how others are enjoying their lives...never again shall i probe into other affairs...shutting myself up in a shell...isolating myself from the rest...ppl may call me a coward...a pathetic loser...some anti social guy...those are the truth...never will they understand the emotional scars...harder to heal than physical scars...the haunting memories of a freaked childhood...suffering from despair...currently distraughted by distorted images of the carnage that happened 2 years ago...the memory is reliving itself...calling out my soul to surrender to it...bury myself in hatred....
And upon the blade i stained with my own blood...i swear that i will become a much better person....Never again shall happiness bloom within the person i have become...i have changed...yes...the danver u know has been eradicated from this world...farwell.
InD!gO plunged into darkness 10:30 PM
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