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1. The isolated one
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The world, the flesh, the devil
The isolated one
Name: Danver
Age: 19
Starsign: Leo
Loves
Solitude
Jazz and rock
Tennis
Chess
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Backstabbers
Hypocrites
Immature brats
Wishlist
People to enjoy happiness
A new computer
Attain a higher maturity level
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A fitter body
Friday, October 21, 2005
[Promos results]
Today was filled with suspense, anxiety, stress and agony. Some were happy..some were terribly depressed with their results..some were upset and really worried about getting promoted..some were just insane..yeah coz today was the release of the long awaited promos results..
Supposed to have 3 periods..( not 3 months ) to check the papers..but the teacher had to collect and check the number of scripts before giving them to us..so that took one period..had to bind the WR and hand it in today..so today was a freaking busy day...
Got my results..but not gonna publish it in my blog coz ppl would probably mock me for having such lousy grades..wateva..ok anyway generally i felt i did quite ok..but gonna work much harder for next year...
WR is over..had OCIP sarawak meeting too..and OPEN HOUSE tmr ..damn..my saturday is gone..urgh..i cant hang out with my friends..and my friends went to MJC today !!!!! Damn..
Ending this entry with a couple of lame jokes..plz dun read if u dun wanna degrade urself...really..ok here goes..my friend thinks she has screwed up her geog..but we all know we need a screwdriver to screw things..and a screwdriver needs a motor in order to drive..and also needs a driver to drive it..furthermore u need motivation in order to have drive..
After saying all that crap..she told me i was very lame..and i agreed..coz i was able to link one out of point thing with another....by using metal chains..resulting in a chain reaction..
Then she said someone signed in on msn..and i asked how he signed in...by using a pen ?? Then she couldnt stand my lameness and played along..she said he used a quill feather to sign in..then i said he must have stolen the feather from federer..then the federation will be in trouble..then she talked about fedex - we live to deliver..deliver babies ?????
Ok enough for now..niteZ
P.S.: Do not drink lipton tea..after drinking one cup..it will make ur lips weigh a ton each...thats freaky... :)
InD!gO plunged into darkness 11:31 PM
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Thursday, October 20, 2005
Ok recently..i just realised that limp bizkit is a band and not just one person rapping..but like they say..ignorance is bliss..ahhh..ok wateva..limp bizkit's songs are rock mixed with rap and heavy metal..they are really cool even though some of their lyrics are explicit and definitely offensive..but who cares..i love their songs and i recommend it to anyone who is in need of motivation..i mean what can i sae..i love fast songs that pack a punch and drives me to do my work..and i hate slow songs which put me to sleep..modified version of a lullaby..
Anyway..results will be out TMR !!! JUDGMENT DAY !!! I really really really hope i am able to get good results..but today is a rather sad day..coz the GP teacher played some sad jap anime during class..and the chem teacher also announced that most of us failed chem..then here comes the waterworks..some of the girls broke down in tears..dunno if any guys cried..hmm..
But come to think of it..i am quite worried about promos now..coz i am not too sure whether i can pass chem and econs..and GP !!! Freaky..hoping for the best..
Bleaurgh..bio is good...kinda happy about it.. :)
Hope everything will be good tmr..and i have OCIP sarawak meeting after sch ! Results better be good otherwise i wont have the mood to continue the day...till then..niteZ
InD!gO plunged into darkness 9:14 PM
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Sunday, October 16, 2005
Ok gonna update on yesterday's events coz apparently ppl think i am depressed and suicidal? Thx to my previous blog entries..which have extremely depressing content..but kinda inspirational dun ya think? No? Ah well they are inspirational to me..and i was thinking so much till i forgot to blog about yesterday's events..so here goes..
Yesterday sucked..really sucked..haha but had a fair bit of fun too..Early in the morning..made my way to the street soccer court to play soccer with GD..and the first thing i saw in my dad's car when i arrived..was anan getting the ball from the roadside..hahaha remember this k..then nallu aravinth mathan brian anan zijian and myself played a while..and some bugger approached us when we playing..claiming that our ball hit his windscreen and damaged it..and we argued for about half an hour ( actually trying to cover up anan's ass ) Nallu was our lawyer even though he sucks in being one..oh he is GOOD at repeating his points..so much so that we told him to shut up..hahaha then the gravy man..who is the bugger btw coz he was delivering some gravy to someone's place..told us to wait at the court for half an hour while he made his deliveries..saying he would be back..BUT we waited for a solid 2 hour plus..and that loser didnt turn up..maybe coz we suggested to lodge a police report about the matter and that loser got scared..he freaking spoilt our mood for soccer..
After that..most of us went home except for me mathan brian and zijian..wanted to join priya and sasi at plaza singapura to watch corpse's bride..on the way there..in the MRT..brian felt sick thx to macdonalds..mathan and i were pissed coz we may be late for the movie..and we were pissed priya didnt bring home clothes..grrrr..haha but anyway..when we reached there..tickets were sold out and the queue was freaking long..so movie was out of the question..and i felt really sick coz i ran all the way from the MRT to the cineplex after a heavy meal of MACS..haha.
So we suggested pool..but priya didnt want to wear guy clothes..otherwise we could have played..but i understand how she feels about wearing guy clothes..i felt that if she was feeling uncomfortable about it we shouldnt force her..then we came up with loads of solutions..like asking her sis to get her clothes or borrowing clothes from her friends..but priya felt it was too troublesome..and was feeling kinda upset..yeah so we felt bad about it and decided to go to mathan's house..sorry about that priya..haha..bet everyone was feeling pissed at that time..the 2 victorians and their photo issue..mathan and zj feeling pissed about going to PS and doing nth..and myself for going back to the east.. but at least we had a proper plan of going to mathan's house to play cards..
Oh ya on the bus..there was a baby crying..which pissed me off even more..coz i dun like babies at this stage of life..not mature enough k..haha and i felt like crushing ITS head to stop the wailing..sorry to all baby lovers and paedophiles out there..
Went to mathan's place..played a few rounds of cards..it has really been a long time since we have played cards as a group..then zj left and we continued to play cards...in the end we just played cards and chatted about life..but it was kinda fun..ate at a coffeeshop near mathan's place and cracked sex jokes...after dinner we went home and i went to priya's place coz i didnt know where to tell my dad to meet me..no idea where i was at that time..then i had to impose on priya's mom to accomodate me for a while..felt so bad..but we chatted for a while and it was cool..and i went home..
Bad day yesterday..and TODAY! Even worse day..i can summarise today's events in one sentence. When i went to orchard MRT..no one was there coz the outing was cancelled and no one told me. Wasted trip..but at least i could file my stuff...clean up my room...work out at the gym...and listen to quality music at home..bad day to hang out too coz it rained the whole day and some parts of singapore were flooded..lol.
Gonna get back my promos results tmr !!!! So excited yet anxious about this whole thing..really wanna take S papers..but dunno whether i am fated for it..we shall see tmr..till then...niteZ
InD!gO plunged into darkness 10:07 PM
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[More of my thoughts]
Warning..this is gonna be another depressing entry...
I always knew u were alone...at first when i realized that there was someone like me, i felt so relieved..i mean everyone tells me i have friends and i shouldnt feel alone..that is true..but i still feel lonely..and i have no idea y...I was happy and i really wanted to talk to u much sooner..but being the antisocial person i am..i didnt have the courage to approach u..i didnt say anything..
You could do everything..and u were so popular with everyone else..since u and i are so different..i was embarrassed and decided to think of u as my rival instead of my friend..i didnt want to lose to u...ppl around me have been talking to me so much about u..and i felt even more embarrassed than ever before...i was stubborn..and i didnt tell u the truth..i really want to surpass u..u were kinda like my inspiration..and i will always remember the day..when u acknowledged me..when u were the one who initiated our friendship..and i was so happy and will always cherish our friendship..
To me u have become my best friend..but there were times when i couldnt even tell whether u were feeling the same way..maybe i was the only one who thought..that u..that u are my friend..if thats the case..i am so stupid..but it couldnt be helped..
I dunno..my real feelings..to continue to cherish this friendship or to disregard it..i really cant make up my mind..its futile to think so much about it..but it really hurts..especially when i hang out with u..not knowing whether u are friend or foe..
Let fate decide..
NiteZ.
InD!gO plunged into darkness 12:06 PM
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Friday, October 14, 2005
[Purpose of my life]
Dont read this entry. Just blogging about my current thoughts and they are freaking boring..it will bore u to death.
A lot of people in the world have asked themselves this question..what is the purpose of living..the purpose of my existence..and up till now..we are unable to give ourselves an answer..
Some of us feel insignificant in life..living itself is pure torture. Demoralising isnt it..i mean u compare urself with others..others have better grades..they are excellent in their various ccas..taking S papers..have a gf/bf..really popular in sch..seems that their lives are just perfect..better than u in every aspect..of coz one would feel jealous..even depressed coz one is unable to comprehend..y issit that others can do it but i myself cant..we are all fellow humans after all..are they born geniuses? or am i born stupid? Most probably is the second option. Thinking about this situation one is in..hectic JC life..and yet one cannot be as successful as the rest..falling behind..nth goes smoothly anymore..life is a bitch..sometimes we wished that life is one big game..and when u are sick of ur current one..u can just hit the restart button to start a fresh new life..but thats not possible..
You will think..since i am not as good as the rest..y do i even bother trying so hard..no matter how hard i try..it just doesnt seem to go my way..the agony of living life amongst others who are so much more superior..life isnt fair..it just isnt..soon you will just be void of emotions..complaining about the slightest things..steer away from ur friends..cry urself to sleep..wishing that that night will be the last night and u will never wake up to see the sunrise in the next day..depression can really change a person huh..
Of coz some people would literally give up in life..they will not be motivated to do anything..and have suicidal thoughts everyday..but of coz we should stay strong..even though life is hard..even though life is unfair..i mean we question our own existence..no one has the answer for that..all we can do is live life to the fullest..and most importantly..believe in urself..coz its ur body..ur soul..no one is supposed to influence the way u think..u are supposed to make ur own rational decisions..others may be better..like 10 times better..but who cares..so long as u urself are happy..comparison will lead to negative emotions..it taps into ur dark side..and eventually u will succumb to these emotions and give up on life..
In the case of danver's life..i have questioned myself before...loads of unhappy moments throughout the year...mathan once told me i was being antisocial in my class..and i thought about it..it was true..and it still is..everyday i will be isolated all by myself during lesons..none of my classmates are true friends..and i do compare myself with others often..so i will be filled with unhappy thoughts..
Then i thought..maybe i do have the answer to the question..the purpose of my existence..is to help others and make others feel happy..at the expense of my own happiness...most of them may not appreciate my helpfulness..may even think i am being some hypocrite and snub me instead.. but i will still help them..i dont expect anything in return.
In my heart i will continue to search for a better meaning of life..it is painful to be alive..and i dunno what it means to be alive..i am despised by almost everyone..and all i can do is help them and try to appease them..but if anytime i am supposed to leave this world..and if my death would even let anyone feel even a little bit of meaning in life..then by all means u can take this useless life of mine.
Sounds depressing but i am not depressed..just jotting down some thoughts..niteZ.
InD!gO plunged into darkness 12:32 PM
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Wednesday, October 12, 2005
[ Gmilf ]
EXAMS ARE OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Really glad that they are over..but gonna support my friends who havent taken their promos..give them morale support..must stay strong k..
Today was a terrific day..started out with a sex movie in the morning..not porn..but close to that..a M18 movie called 40 year old virgin..oh but before the movie..i got kinda lost at the somerset MRT station ( as expected )..and today i just realised a lot famous landmarks are in orchard area instead of raffles place/city hall..like the hereen..CK tang..lucky plaza..far east..lido..and cineleisure..yeah i know my sense of direction is bad..argh heck..gonna work my ass off in the future so that i can afford to take taxi anywhere i wanna go..hahahaha..ok back to today's events...met up with mathan eric priya and sasi to watch the movie..we wanted to sneak into 40 year old virgin but we had to come up with a foolproof plan..and we saw a bunch of hci guys watching the movie..bet they were gay..making out at the back of the theatre..urgh..the movie was simply hilarious..worth every penny of my 7 bucks..haha it was kinda appealing to guys..loads of sex jokes...and a girl called gina..( imagine how it was pronounced ) and the main character is a GRANDmother fucker..Gmilf..lol..but it was a cool movie..
After the movie, we ate lunch at long john's and chatted a bit..sasi and priya had to go for some tamil mock exam..haha really pity them..but guess it cant be helped..grace came to cineleisure and we played at the arcade for a while..after that we made our way to mambo poolhouse at lucky plaza..played a few rounds and some of my classmates joined us..they are good in pool..but in the end i didnt even get to play with them coz i was playing with mathan..but it was fun watching though..and as usual..i sent balls flying in the air..sent balls into the wrong holes..miss hitting the balls with the stick..( perfect pool language ) ahem ahem..
After pool..followed mathan back to ubi..and had a drink with him..not alcohol..teh ping..hahaha..ok wadeva..felt rather nostalgic being in ubi again..prayed to the giant buddha statue at maha bodhi..seeking for forgiveness and bliss..walked around the neighbourhood and recollecting all those fond memories..it was a great experience..and noticed loads of changes too..time sure has passed by quickly..
AND i went home..
Thats it..there is sch tmr !!! ARGH..and maybe on friday..not maybe..most probably..which kinda sucks..oh but gonna hang out with GD on sat...cant wait..haha..maybe hanging out with priya and the rest on friday..depends..freaking worried..my instincts tell me that i am going to know my promos results tmr..shit shit..hope i did well..hope..
Lastly..PW and CHINESE SUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good luck guys...keep it real..niteZ
InD!gO plunged into darkness 11:34 PM
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Saturday, October 08, 2005
F.R.E.E.D.O.M
Ah finally i have the time to update my blog...it has been neglected for quite a long while...loads of blog about..
Ok i am going to blog about what happened 2 saturdays ago..lol long time ago but just wanna blog about it..which was the 24th sept..yeah spent all my time mugging for the exams..so i had no time to blog..24th sept was a special day coz anthony was back in singapore !!! But before visiting him..met up with mathan, jingyang and priya to study...the early part of the day was kinda lame..coz we started off at parkway..then made our way to the airport..did some studying there..and went back to parkway for pool...back and forth..lol but nvm..had a fun time studying and playing pool..oh and met daniel too...
After playing pool..made my way to anthony's place..and when i first met him i was like OMG !! long time no see..and ur hair is freakishly long..and he told me he hasnt cut his hair ever since he left for aussie in march...reason? he wanted to cut in singapore coz its cheaper here...nice reason eh...hahahaha but nvm it was great meeting him again..we chatted about sch life..his aussie life..anime updates..TK life..and we watched final fantasy advent children at his place..cool graphics and the storyline was original and filled with twists..cloud and tifa..they make a good couple..
Oh and anthony gave me a billabong wallet fresh from aussie as a bdae gift!! Haha really thankful...feel so lucky to have such a great friend..we played tennis too..both of us have improved much..and it was really fun playing with him again..lol he left his tennis racquet in aussie..so he had to play with a junior racquet..suits his size though..oops haha jk...
After tennis..i joined his family for a steamboat dinner at parkway..really delicious coz it has been a long time since i have last eaten steamboat..really great eating with his family..coz they gave me a treat..lol..after dinner we went to browse at electronic shops...like best denki..had to go home after that so we bid farewell and wished each other good luck..
He promised to come back on the 28th dec..anthony u better come back ah..i will be expecting ur return..hahaha
Ok..the anthony story has been told..now for promos...Promos have been going smoothly for the past few days...Chem was hard but i could still cope with it..maths was challenging too but i have a good feeling about it..econs was surprisingly not as hard as expected..even the essays..guess paying attention to lectures pays off huh...the practicals were good too..GP was great!!! Have quite a good feeling for it too...dun wanna talk about chinese...lol..just left with bio and i can hardly wait for monday to come so i can get it done and over with...and i shall be free.....free to soar through the skies and slam onto the ground below..(suicide)..lol i will never do that..i will just regain my freedom to PARTY!!! P.A.R.T.Y !!! Countdown...2 more freaking days...muahahahahaha..ok i am hyperactive now..better get back to studying bio...urgh...
Euphoria..stress..depression..anger..agony..anxiety..brimmed with confidence..mixed emotions..urgh..suffering from insomnia too...kept tossing and turning in bed...bleaurgh..
Hope i can survive the last lap...till then..cyaZ
P.S: To all music enthusiasts..here is another recommendation from danver...the all-american rejects..they may not be very well known..but the music they play is original..fresh..and definitely packs a punch..looking for motivation and enthusiasm ? look for the all american rejects.
InD!gO plunged into darkness 11:20 PM
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