welcome
Definitely worth visiting. Enjoy.
Click the images below to navigate.
1. The isolated one
2. The autobiography
3. The conversations
4. The chained links
5. The reminisced
The world, the flesh, the devil
The isolated one
Name: Danver
Age: 19
Starsign: Leo
Loves
Solitude
Jazz and rock
Tennis
Chess
Billards
Black
Hates
White
Backstabbers
Hypocrites
Immature brats
Wishlist
People to enjoy happiness
A new computer
Attain a higher maturity level
Discipline
A fitter body
Saturday, March 31, 2007
I compare myself to others way too much. It's mentally and physically exhausting. Nowadays i have been feeling so frustrated with my family, my friends and my life, so much so that i will throw my temper around everyday i come home from army camp. Its been super unfair to the people around me but i just cant contain the anger within me. I have supressed my feelings for far too long..and i cant to share with others how i really feel. I feel that its futile, coz after all that talking and counselling, the problem will still be there.
I hunger for the feeling of superiority. Not that i want to show off to others that i am good but desire to feel good about myself. I really look forward to the day when i can actually accept who i am and not compare anymore. But i dunno whether that day would actually come. Honestly, i am sick of comparing. It is being really unfair to myself as a human being. One part of me wants to strive for greater heights but its being obsessive in that task, one part wants to be contented with the life i am currently living and just take things as it comes. I am torn between my 2 totally different mindsets...so much so that i become numb when i hang out with friends or family..
I wish that something would happen that would drastically change my life for the better.
InD!gO plunged into darkness 8:57 AM
* * *
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
OMG blogger is finally working.... but then i cant really type much coz my parents are sleeping and apparently when i type..the keyboard makes really loud disturbing noises...ah well since blogger is working..a quick update about myself.
- Army life has been a fulfilling and enriching experience.
- Made loads of new friends and brothers.
- Sunken into somewhat depression coz i self reflected too much in tekong.
- Frustrated with applications for courses and scholarships.
- Taking up classical guitar lessons at Yamaha.
- May consider giving night and weekend tuition.
- Afraid of commitment and responsibility.
- Finally registered for driving theory test on may 30th.
- Posted to Ayer Rajah as a technician.
- Love my new platoon and workplace. Life is getting interesting.
- Clubbed at Zouk for the first time on 21st march 2006.
- Cant believe that people actually ENJOY clubbing.
- Currently i have no social life coz all my friends are busy with stuff.
- I am busy too. Army is restricting my freedom.
- But who am i to complain..i have a 8-6 job and i can go home everyday.
- Plus i live in Dover..which is near my workplace.
- Thinking of taking up japanese lessons if there is time.
- Engaging in fitness training. OTOT.
- Ironically, i miss tekong..even though i hate the place.
- I miss the innocent days when everyone could meet up and chill.
- Many of my friends have left for overseas uni.
- Ichun went to ANU and jessica went to california.
- Considering overseas posting during army or uni. Maybe both.
Man i need new songs to spice up my life and get my mindset back on track. Honestly speaking, i am beginning to like being in a depressed and pessimistic state..this is bad. My friends and parents tell me that its bad but i just cant help feeling this way. I dont share my problems with anyone either. My blog aint gonna be a source to pour my worries and rant about my problems. Probably because i find it embarrassing to even mention about my problems..damn ego...its getting bigger and bigger by the day...people think i am crazy for not being satisfied with my grades and getting all depressed...i agree with them..man whats wrong with me...the years of bottling up my problems and true feelings has its consequences..negative ones of coz..
i wanna achieve loads of things at the end of my 2 year course. Unless i am enrolled into medical faculty, i hope i can achieve this list of things.
- Able to play the guitar.
- Speak japanese more fluently and learn how to write.
- 6 packs. Getting fitter. Much fitter.
- Strong enough to carry a girl.
- Driver's licence.
- Technician's licence.
- Computing course certificate.
- Being able to cook something.
- Girlfriend? ( optional ) ( Dont think it will happen either. )
Anyway gtg sleep. Now i got time to do what i want at night..gotta plan schedules and make full use of my time..aint gonna lose out to others. Cya.
InD!gO plunged into darkness 8:54 AM
* * *