Wednesday, April 27, 2005
PW sucks................................totally sucks...gonna lodge a complaint to MOE or ask mathan and brian to join me in burning down the freaking MOE building which is so freaking near ACJC...what is the teacher trying to convey to us students ? If we cannot come up with some original idea which billions of others in the world has yet to think of it.....we would fail our PW ? 10% of our total marks for university would just fly away..just coz we are too stupid to think of a freaking idea ? Even if we have thought of one, she would criticize it and say ' Ooh.. i dont think your idea is that feasible...plz think of another one coz u need to hand in ur PI soon...' She comments with such arrogance...and if any of us asks her anything...she would say ..' U didnt pay attention to me when i was briefing u all rite ??? Go ask ur FRIENDS !' Damn it...y cant she just die early or sth..who the hell created PW in the first place ? I bet he/she is some sadistic moron who wants to see JC students suffer much more than those in the previous generations...Now all i can think of is PW PW PW...urgh...fine since Singapore wants to make it so freaking hard for me to enter into their pathetic universities...i would rather just go overseas...i would even go ukraine to join the twins...damn...currently filled with hatred and anger...JC life sucks...
Sorry to all readers as u can see that my recent blogs have been filled with negative remarks and comments about my pathetic life. I am in a state of self denial...wanting to escape reality but realised that its impossible...Depression has longed set in...now if u see me in sch..most of the time u would see me stoning...or just shutting myself from the rest of the class...Hw is accumulating...tests are coming...PW is bugging me...STILL NO SENSE OF BELONGING IN AC COZ MY TEACHER REFUSES TO UPDATE ME ABOUT TENNIS ACTIVITIES...old hag...dont tell me i am destined to be in chess club all my life ??? URGH !!! mailto:!@#%&%*&#^%!#@$%$#
InD!gO plunged into darkness 9:00 PM
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Saturday, April 16, 2005
[Evanescence][Going Under]
Now I will tell you what I've done for you
50 thousand tears I've cried
Screaming Deceiving and Bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me(I’m going under)
Don't want your hand this time
I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom
I'm dying again
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm going under
Blurring and Stirring the truth and the lies
So I don't know what's real and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore
I'm dying again
I'm going under
Drowing in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
So go on and scream
Scream at me
I'm so far away
I won't be broken again
I've got to breathe
I can't keep going under
Today was a pathetic day...gave me loads of time to reflect upon myself...After today's experience, i have realised what a pathetic life i have been living...Separated family...disbanded friendships...no achievements...no sense of belonging...pondering on the reason of my existence in this world...Constantly falling into the abyss of everlasting hell...school is equivalent to military camp...submerging myself in pressure and stress...unable to supress my fears...
Submitting myself to solitude..distanting myself from everyone else...since i am unable to start afresh...i would rather feel the distinct pain of loneliness, agonizing depression and self denial everyday...standing by my shadow seeing how others are enjoying their lives...never again shall i probe into other affairs...shutting myself up in a shell...isolating myself from the rest...ppl may call me a coward...a pathetic loser...some anti social guy...those are the truth...never will they understand the emotional scars...harder to heal than physical scars...the haunting memories of a freaked childhood...suffering from despair...currently distraughted by distorted images of the carnage that happened 2 years ago...the memory is reliving itself...calling out my soul to surrender to it...bury myself in hatred....
And upon the blade i stained with my own blood...i swear that i will become a much better person....Never again shall happiness bloom within the person i have become...i have changed...yes...the danver u know has been eradicated from this world...farwell.
InD!gO plunged into darkness 10:30 PM
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Friday, April 15, 2005
[Ben Jelen][Come On]
And finally the silence
Looking out, looking back across the sky
Trying to find a meaning
Knowing that I just left it all behind
Still I smell a lingering softness
Where did she go
How did she go
I wanna wanna know
I wanna know that she'll be coming here to me
[CHORUS:]
Come on
Without you I'll never feel the love inside of me
Come on, you know that we belong
Come on, come on, come on, come on
Thinking back before her
I never knew the meaning of alone
Still the flag is feeling foreign
I live the day to escape into a phone
Speaking of a world not real then
Where did she go
How did she go
I wanna wanna know
I wanna know that she'll be coming here to me
[CHORUS]
Cause each of her kisses
How my heart misses
She's coming
She's coming here to me
I'm needing
Desiring to kiss her now
I'm living for her
Breathing for her
Singing for her fairytale
[CHORUS (2x)]
Come on..
HeyZ ppl...its been a long time since i have last blogged...guess i getting too lazy to type about my life...haha sorry to all readers out there...but this blog may/may not close down permamently...depends on my schedule...haha...
Ok anyway...ACJC has been a great JC...love my GP teacher especially !! He totally RawkZ !!! He is very informative...and engages me in outside cirriculum ( spello ?) programmes...My maths teacher is strict...but she is super lame...always laughing at her own lame corny jokes...my chinese lessons suck...not the teacher coz she is super nice...my econs is some sensitive but nice young lady...very softspoken...hopefully i can still concentrate on econs...haha...Bio teacher rawkZ too even though she is in the discipline commitee...and my chem teacher is my form teacher ! and she is one old hag !!! #$%^&^&$^....she speaks softer than my econs teacher...urgh....but overall...the teachers are great !!!
ACJC came in second recently for boys team and third for girls team in X country...and i thank god for that...Rivals like RJC and VJC are as usual...in the top 3...waterpolo, soccer and SYF dancing comp were held today...hopefully they did AC proud...
Missing my old friends...friends overseas...friends in different JCs...friends in different classes...all my friends...and cant really get to hang out with them coz either i am busy or they are busy....yeah...harsh reality is such...Hopefully can get to see them and hang out soon...for now...peace out...
InD!gO plunged into darkness 9:00 PM
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