Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Chinese new year celebrations were awesome..seeing so many relatives at one go can really be tiring..but the monetary value gained from it is certainly gratifying...haha. Pui Eng and Irene look well..had some sort of pep talk with them about NS and University stuff. Brinden and Bhieman went there late as usual..but dinner was shared by the 3 of us and it was fantastic. Aunts and Uncles all look well too and thats good. Hope its gonna be a good year this year.
After all the excitement, chinese new year was over in a flash. Monday afternoon was kinda gloomy. Boredom drove me out of my house to just walk along the pathway of heritage view. The pavement looked like a scene from LOTR.. The bright amber sunlight shining through the leaves of nearby vegetation..i could see sun rays beaming on the ground with spots of shadows swaying randomly..Golden, maroon, orange and red leaves were scattered on the ground..like an autumn scenario which is kinda ironic since spring has just begun..Fragipani and lilies filled the sides of the pavement.
As i walked through it..i was thinking to myself..gosh..i have changed so much since secondary school days..The age of seventeen was supposed to be sweet 17 for most teenagers..but for me..it was a wake up call..a drastic fling back to reality..away from my dreamland. True enough it was a dark year. I have learnt so much from all the experiences and unhappiness throughout the year..in a way its a blessing in disguise. Honestly i miss those TK and MJ days..when ignorance was bliss and everyone is living out their lives..oblivious of the unseen future..unaware of the shortcomings they are going to face..Just when i thought last year was bad enough..the nightmare has just begun. This year is gonna be one helluva year. One that pushes my limits to the extreme..stretches my potential..fills my heart with pain and anguish..perhaps a slight glimpse of happiness..and definitely a way of preparation to be a real man. I am going to make it..i will make sure i make it. Success is the only route left and failure is not an option.
But most importantly, i must change even more. I must become a better person..i have to learn to overcome my fears...to toughen up for NS...stop deceiving those who are close to me...and stop deceiving myself. Instill discipline within myself...have to learn to control my emotions. Come on Danver...this is harsh reality...learn to face up to it.
Believe in yourself. You can do it. I know it.
InD!gO plunged into darkness 5:32 AM
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